Teaching EFL and the fear of not being good enough.

I think that I'm over ambitious sometimes or just a perfectionist because good enough is never good enough for me and I'm forever finding faults in everything I do.
That attitude used to stop me for even trying to achieve things because my standards were so impossibly high that I knew in advance that I couldn't ever reached even the good enough level.

Then I went to England and I founded myself sounding as a half witted alien!
So I had 2 options, 1- be forever quiet until and unless I could sound as clever and assertive as Jeremy Paxman interviewing a politician or 2- hid under the duvet forever. Nobody can do as Paxman does and, anyway, I'm unable to shut up or to hide under the duvet for long. So I worked a lot learning English and in the process I learnt not to take myself so seriously.
I think that the not taking oneself too seriously is part of British culture and thus is ingrain in the language. Language and culture are totally related and dependent. You have to laugh at yourself in English otherwise the language doesn't work. And once you'd learn to laugh at yourself, you're in a safe zone and can start to deal with the deep issues.

I can wax lyrical for pages about the "whys" and the "hows" I'm like that and how I'm better than I was, but the point is that it's a work in progress, were I'm trying to do my best and I'm learning to cut my self some slack.

Yesterday's class went well. I was totally freaking out because Steve was there to supervise me, basically to see if I'm good enough for them. My mouth was absolutely dry and it felt as bad as a test, worse than the interview in fact. So I took my books and introduced myself to the students and started the class. Steve left after what felt as an eternity and then the class got animated and even fun.
I'm going to meet Steve tomorrow for a port-mortem and I hope he'll be happy enough.

Anyway. The old agency just sent me an e-mail telling me that my former students gave me glowing reports and so they're offering me some more teaching hours.
So, I'm finishing this post with a positive note, I'm still employed!