going through

Well... No point of telling you again that we're all down. We are.
So, I'm going to try something to try and snap out of this black deep misery. I'm getting tired of it, of feeling miserable and having this physical pain in the middle of my chest. I'm not eating, sleeping or working properly, so, I soon as I loose a few pound I'll do something. Well.. the least I can do is to try to get thinner!

Have you ever heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NPL?
It's a sort of fast approach to psychology. A bit psycho-babble plus some old-fashioned "get over it" attitude. An alternative to psychotherapy. The sort of fast-food approach to it. Quite new agey. A friend of mine who did a PhD in linguistic at Bristol University say that it's total quackery... but he's a devout Catholic so I always take his opinions with a bag of salt.
The basic idea related to trauma is to "create" a new mental link or association with the thing that is bothering you. The idea is that although you cannot change the past and how events affected you then, you can change your reaction to these bad things and your perception to them thus effectively changing your present and your future.

Allegedly, people get fast and long lasting results, and as is cheaper that paying a therapist, I decided to give it a go. After all, once I tried homoeopathy and it worked just fine.

So, I got myself a copy of NPL for dummies (it does exists, check it out in the link) and after carefully reading it, I decided to try to get try to get rid of the trauma of the accident. I don't want to forget Darwin, but I want to be able to breath again without this lingering pain in the centre of my chest or to remember him without getting all mushy and start to cry.
So I downloaded a tape with some exercise to get over trauma and I followed it and yesterday before going to sleep I did all that it told me to do. The idea was to re-program my brain so I may finally be able to get over the shock and maybe be able to go back to the same road without crying.

I'm suppose to do the exercises a few times during a few days. I'll try and then I'm going to write here if I feel any better.