Going through

Well... the antidepressants are starting to kick in as I find it easier to go around now but I still feel a knot in the middle of my chest all the time. As a mum, I'm a sort of centre of the family and I have to keep P going so I can not afford to be a wreck. Sometimes I think that that alone keep me from crumbling bubbling on the floor!
As I have to work and keep cooking and everything going as normal, this actually helps not to think or dwell in my loss. However, when P cries or feels sad, we end up crying the both of us and he ends up trying to cheer me up saying things like "he's ok now, mummy", which made me cry even more!
I'm also finding very hard to concentrate on anything and I'm unable to read anything more complicated that a girlie magazine!! In me, that's a definite sign of depression.

P said that although there's no way that our beloved Darwin can be replaced, we need some other dog to love and take care of. At first I though no way but it may be a good idea as Darwin few months with us were worthy of the pain we felt with its departure. Grief is, after all, the price you pay for love.
So we started talking of maybe buying another beagle or maybe adopting one from the rescue centre in Barcelona. "The husband" is not very keen on adopting because he thinks that a older dog could be more difficult that a puppy, he believes that "you can not teach new tricks to an old dog" and I think that it may be a myth.
We need to do some research regarding adopting vs. buying a dog.
I suggested to P. that we could go to the rescue centre an do some volunteering, such as walking the dogs to give them some exercise. P gave a look and very matter-of-fact say: -"no offence, mum, but with your truck record... I don't think they allow you walk their dogs". From the mouth of babes!!! I didn't know if I should laugh or cry!

An old friend of mine, whom I know since we were in primary school and who now lives in Madrid travelled to Barcelona for business and stayed with us for a couple of days.
That was like a breath of fresh air as we took her sightseeing around here and to the park Guell (a great park designed by Gaudi) and I talked and talked and cried a bit on her shoulder.
Thanks Tutti!! You've been a true friend.